Things I've been doing

January 31, 2009

For the past few months I have been very busy offline and online.

Offline:
First, I am a nursing student. I went back to school this 2nd semester because of a hard subject I failed last year. I aligned my goal not to fail this year and guess what? My pre-liminary exam went well. I was happy and thinking that I would be passing this semester with flying colors. My optimistic behavior got reversed after I knew the result of my mid-term exam. Sigh, it did not went well. the results is very low that it neutralized my score in pre-lim and at this rate I will fail again. I really feel stupid. My class in only on Thurday and Friday morning, giving me a lot of time to study and yet I failed? I spent the past few days reflecting on myself what am I doing wrong? What do I need to improve? Now on Monday, the college faculty has arranged a remedial class (because many failed) for all the student who failed to attend. Anyone who won't attend that will not be allowed to get a removal examination. This gives me pressure. I can't oput myself to study. If I get to study, it does not stick to my head. I've been trying to pressure myslef to do so. My first cousin is sponsoring my tuition and my mom is hoping for me to pass this year. Sometimes I'm tempted to bang my head to the wall (to punish myself).

Secondly, I'm a medical trasncription student. I got to know of it a few months back. Since I have some sapre time I took up schooling. The first three months went well. I being in another medical related course, had no problem passing medical terminology. We're doing practical transcription now. I found one of my former classmates is doing it home-based. She managed to have her client assess me and I think I got the job. But sadly, no reports are sent to me to do yet. Guess I need to find other clients and improve myself. This adds to my worries.

Lastly, I am living with my mom and younger brother. Along with 4 old people. Two of them are completely dependent and alsmot bed-ridden. I sometimes skip class when things get messy. My mom is turning out sickly lateley. I, being the eldest child am helping her out. I sometimes skip class or sleep very late watching over them (the old folks).

Online:
I am a forum moderator online. It became my outlet of stress and worries I have in life. It's fun helping newbies around. Aside from that I have joined a lot of online money making programs. PTCs, PTPs, Autosurfs andHYIPs. I earn a few buck in some and loss I others. I wish there was an effective way to earn something from the internet. Life is getting hard and difficult each day.


I still am hoing that things will work out well with me in school and find a worthwhile job online so I can help with the expenses in the house. As of the moment, writing this down made me feel a little better. I'm going back to studying now and I hope I pass that removal examination next week.

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